Sunday, March 16, 2008

When he was ALONE.....

He stood gaping at his shadow,
In weird thoughts and distant memories,
By cold snaps piercing the quietness,
Besides himself, he wailed her name,
Brusquely it came and stumbled he, in tame.

When tormenting thoughts encircled,
Swayed he in dreams, disturbed.
All he conjured,
The dimpled beam on the face,
And the little curl besides the ear।

The casting lamp forlorn,
He walked loud with anklets worn.
Reaching her breath on his skin,
And her impelling hair on his fingers, akin.
Peered he with eyes wide shut.


He traced her smile from faking memory,
Feeling through the soft length of her body.
He waits the evening of split wine.
Imprinting illusions of reality.
The lovers dream they had seen!

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Train She Never Took

It all started with the innocuous of scraps. Hail Orkut! Your stumbling upon anyone from remote past is nothing short of miraculous. Series of scraps, fervent replies, the feeling of childhood rejuvenating – The circle spun on. Unlike most things, the fervour didn’t die. The little complaints, held for long needed answers. All in all the cement, the mortar for the next wall was totally bridged. Scraps to instant messages the transition was virtually unnoticed.


As it seemed, there could be no end to talks, came the lull. The period of no scraps, no gtalk pings! Exams! Like all bad things, it had a good side. It wouldn’t be insanely Herculean to gather a force to loathe exams. Just the degree varied with persons as did the language. The end of exams marked the lengthier nights to be filled with so called acts. Coincidentally, both he and she began to talk beyond the past into present. Life of speculations, life of relationships!


The online chatting really does pioneer in getting hideous scandals revealed. For reasons difficult to fathom, it’s always easier grieving over chat or a phone than in face. The case in point was no different. It looks even more ridiculously childish; when rather than drawing nodding sympathy he gets mocking lols (grins). Soon enough the minutes of past and present gets done with. Yet, the diminished eagerness lingered. Gtalk seemed passé! Messages and calls! So much so that the usual decency of leaving out of rooms in search of alone space was lost on the frequency of calls. The attractions seemed aplenty, but reality lay somewhere far off.


Things lead to one another and the whole world conspired with the fate
They were to meet! How absurd did it sound? For each knew the other with flummoxing familiarity credited to close friends. They were to see the other growing out of digital snaps for the first time. It was she who rang up, and fixed the place. He was quite unsure of the place, and loitered around to find the smiling face. The so called mandatory hand-shakes backwashed into a period of nerve wrecking silence! No words, even to the point of stammering!Time eased them through the initial hiccups. Maybe to reduce the state of animated silence, they decided to move out to a quieter junction, perhaps to a food station!



So did they march along with the nonchalant questions of present well being and so on The food did wonders; nothing else could have otherwise explained the radical visible changes. Then it happened! The first touch! She took his arm and gave a peg and he didn’t mind it a bit. When the caressing did melt the hours, was beyond comprehension on after thought. But it did. Everything sounded better from her. She too listened with passion, the things she hardly entertained in chats. Such was the silent intensity!



Seldom has there been anything good about good bye except for debunking the latent emotions The auto drive back forth surfaced the sentimental issues. He was quiet, she was rapt. Silence was to witness the trying hard to hold tears and the patting re-assurance. The whole gamut, ran through months of chat ran in single vivid flame. It felt miraculous to be in each others company aloof from reality. He saw her loosing reins, loosing herself in belief. He would wait.He promised he would wait for her train.



P.S. When people around you start spinning stories, the cult is rather far too challenging not to catch up.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Eerie Haunts!!

Its time, in fact a lot of time, too much of waters have passed under the bridge! I finally decide to rest my resolution aside for meanwhile and come up with something for the blog। Some grey cells turned BLACK (dead), few blood cells enflamed (AGNEE) and rest of the cells, memory ones seems to have ceased multiplying.

Confusing? For those who credited me with normal average memory power this post might make some sense. For others, check out the writings of OSHO :P. The other day, D day (Re-Kriti Finals), to my utter surprise I was clueless to what might my blog address be! Not even my assumed pen name! I was left to the state of stammered silent cursing.

This by no means is the beginning of the indication. During one off the walks to SARDAR, I found myself coming in different angles in tryst to come up with the word auction”.It was not the one off words. “Exploit” as a word had to be explained as “Shoshan”. The interesting arguments in leading to my re-realisation of the word, notwithstanding, I see me loosing my reins.


So flooded was I with the chunk of memories garbaged over 21 years, that it reiterated upon myself in forms. It culminated in a series of reflections! The life without memory?Inking your body with words as memento? Letting your brain process a little longer in order to whet back pleasant days? Yuck, have I been sounding too pessimistic?


Unbelievingly enough I get across this telegraph article as if to remind me “ पिक्चर अभी बाकी है दोस्तों”। The guy in case, keeps coming back and loves the same thing over and over again. Proposing his wife all over again and again and again! Did he not freeze time at its most elusive point? The idea of diminishing returns would still be a no-no place. Without memory we would just be hapless at the scenarios around us. But that does not restrict us from attaching value to things, reacting to stimuli by automatic instinct.


Yet, we reinforce the taxed brain for memory. Important dates! Yet we fall on the implications. How much are we aware of at each moment is rather limited. We assimilate and force opinions on prior experience and present conscience. The instincts, first impression lose its way to time. No wonder the world needs few million billions of TB!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

अशांत सांझ


सांझ है धुंधली, दिल में हैं कल्पनाएं अनेक,

दिल के वाद थे कितने, मगर पडी एक अहम अनेक,

स्नेह निर्झर बह गया, अर्थ जीवन का ढह गया,

दिल उस घात पर टीक गया, जहाँ जमाना हंसती थी मैं रो गया


दर्द नही कोई सी पाया, ठहाके नही
छिन्नेक,

गाता रह गया बैठा वहाँ, अवागा प्राणी एक,
यहीं दिलों के हाट में, जुटे मनचले यार,
कोल्हाहल, उन्सुनी कर सारा संसार


वो हंसी आज भी गूंजती है, कहती थी,
फिर भी अपने में रहती थी,
सबकी सुनती थी, सबको सुनाती थी,
साये के परिचय बिना सूक्ष्म अंतर स्तगित थी


Friday, September 28, 2007

zZZzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ.....

Well, I had been lazy. I own it. But hardly ‘sleep all day’ is attributed to lethargy. There had been innumerable quotes on how sleep could mend things, boost spirits.


In hindsight, life is really a funny game,

And for a deserved break, sleep's the name.”


Yet, I have been troubled by it. Not by the lack of it, the excess of it. I had always believed dawn is the time when men of reason take to bed. Yet, infallibly these days (read after Kanpur), I am unable to resist the look of my bed. Neither have I been dumped nor have I been onto pills. Yet the sweet magic crawls into me, propelling me to close my eyes for as long as I could do. Even 11 hours (Excludes the short naps) at a stretch at night sees a tired me in morning. Well it is not what I am complaining about. It is just that I am curious. I heard sleeping habits are a true indicator to ones personality. Am I through a personality make-over?


Sleep is not merely “down time” between episodes of me being alive. Within the constitution we spend almost one third of our life in the necessary evil sleep. Is it a frameless mechanism? Metabolism, Anabolism and we might have another “Beddobolism” as a beacon. What really transpires? Some wake animated, whilst some look to finish the unfinished job. Then there are some who look worse for the sleep. It’s like quenching a thirsty with a drop – leaving him panting for more. Seems a devils day advocate is on duty. While some enjoy it ignorantly I wait my verdict with soporific and heavy eye lids.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Football or foOtbAlL?




What do you crave more football or football or football? Hard choice don’t you say? The more you think about it the more you feel it seeping through your porous skin. With so many different sports, why as a religion do we love the pig skin so much? Is it really explicable?


It gives hopes, plenty of it, to square up with anyone. From a little known peddler you can stir up into the popularity ratings. But it sort of applies to people outside to this country. Still, the passion runs deep and never dries.


Football is as much about the beauty as much it is about pain. Maybe that propels us. With an injured ankle, few tablets and Relispray you take up the field for the sake of your little whim. The whim which promises exaltation! Maybe the hope of scoring a goal steers me or is it the acknowledgment of the team mates I crave for? “Sexy hai yaar…” that’s the quote you fumble across every now and then. Genuine appreciation whether be it your team mate or opposition. One game which makes me acknowledges the greatness of the other player almost unknowingly.

Is it for the real joy of running around with the pigskin? The grass, the emptiness of field, visage of the goalie? It certainly is not the only outlet of emotions. Even then it turns out to be the best proposition. The tackle, the cross over, step over runs wild in mind…. Is it the psychology which is running wild or am I longing for football? Football as a game comes first to me, even when I am not good at it by any stretch. Nor is it the only game which I tried hand in. I understand that I play other games a little better. Running around the ball, making up for lost opportunities is what I yearn for.

P.S. Still I can’t fathom why do I still prefer football ground to others? Pour in suggestions to make my life a little simpler.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Ssshhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Well, nothing compares to the internet facility in our rooms (however slow it may be). Finally, stepping the usual profanities aside managed to gather energy to clean up my blog.


Setting: Padagaon , Khantapara


Well the locale might not arise many brows. The aforementioned place does deserve a place for the similes involving simplicity. Well, morons if you still haven’t got the place, it’s my village. The simplicity doesn’t come from the ignorance or being technologically ridden, it’s somehow inherent to the place. Well, the occasion this time was a marriage of a distant relative (Could not find other word to explain the tardiness of the complex relation). The atmosphere electric and the environ chattery. This was the moment the skies decided to open up, not to bless the lucky couple but to rain their vivaah into delay.


Most of you might be aware of the floods due to excessive rains in those parts of the country. Skipping through the merciless drops of thunder let me get into the real backdrop the narrative. Water gushed in left right left and in no time the ground floor was half immersed in water. It meant days of idle sitting, maybe weeks. But we kids choose to disagree. With the help of one of the servant we clamped a knot to the rod and went for the long wait. Yeah, you guessed it right our fishing net was on and shhhh…. Fishes do hear the vibrations.


Awn it went, the fishing expedition! The first catch was a prize “catla” about one and half kilos. The years of sitting in stealth seemed to wear off with that single catch. The kind of feeling surpassed any other (Believe me for I have been through a gamut of emotions). This marked the beginning of romance with nets and waiting silently. The flour was arranged for they were the best bait after earthworms. This followed two more prize catches, local species. The good water kept decent level for four more days and we had fun unlimited. The fishing then gave way to relentless feast on the guava trees. The big melons were quite sumptuous. Moving through the crevices breaking fences and chupke se eating made for a memorable week. Alas! Memories will serve me till destiny makes the next trip.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

Sometimes words fail you in spite of your urge to write something. Words have never been anyone’s slave, but my inability of picking a topic to write on made matters worse. Left with no choice, I commence.


Outside there was the usual hustle and bustle, inside was stirringly quite.

Outside there were the four directions whereas the inside was looking at the fifth direction.


It was dark and someone came around and sat besides me. In similar situations I would have been asked for a dance in the rain yet this time it was all different. Judging the gravity if it, it was decided to let the cries afloat once without the mask of rain.


Then, I staggered to look up and mumbled “I dunno…. Maybe….What if….” A series of incomprehensible nothings.


“You are no good”.


“Don’t let your brain and heart wreck”


“But something has to be done, can’t live on the shore of deserted island forever”


“Possibly the morrow has some better marks on the cards to free my brain”


“What about your heart?”


“Dunno, I am alright….”


“Lets keep arguing, maybe it will yield a result”


“How can talking possibly help in mending the wall?”


“Did that not let you in the hole?”


“But it was necessary….”


“It is necessary that you talk”


Suddenly a piece of crumpled paper in form of paper rocket blocked the vision.


“Even when crumpled to the last degree, this rocket never ceases to leak the joys while it traverses from one point to another. This worthless piece still finds no remembrance, the irony of fate!!!”




P.S It is the most incoherent a read as it ever gets to top it someone was pointing at the vocab prowess I presumably possess.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Zindagggiiiiii

Un raaho mein paaya maine apne aap ko

Chiraag bhi kam they jahan roshni ke liye

Lau mili thi dil ke deeye se

Phir bhi anjaan thi nigaahein sacchai se

Siskiyon ne nirjeev kiya marm se,

Zindagi nammin hui geele kaagaz mein

koi jalata bhi nahin koi bahata bhi nahin,

is qadar hain akele rahaon mein dil ki,

koi bulata bhi nahi koi batlata bhi nahin

Auron ne toh kya Rangon ne bhi bewaafai ka saath diya !!!!

mAstErpIeCE


The pic says it all.. Doesnt it??

Friday, April 06, 2007

BUNDLE OF CONTRADICTIONS!!


Ever been in a situation where you curse and bless your present existence in same breath? Been in a position where you acquired a hell lot more than what you bargained for? I yearned for a little free time and I end up with the ocean of nothingness. Perhaps the only flaw in doing nothing is one doesn’t get to know when he is finished!

Nobody grudges earning a little “own-time”. Does this represent a reasoned judgement or merely foolishness, I wonder. Yet my mind reasons that “We may not be aware of the passing instants, but as we go on ceaselessly spending them, suddenly the term of life is on us”. Whereas my heart is adamant on the point that moments aren’t anymore passing they seem to have frozen. Well then am I to stare into oblivion with nothingness or completeness? Yes, I am reduced to a bundle of contradictions. Period.

I blink for umpteen number of times and frown at my helplessness. Claiming I miss football and badminton would be an understatement. Even the football videos have lost the sheen and I can’t possibly grasp why. The consoles of “GET WELL SOON” sound so acrimoniously acidic that I am prompted to retort as “It gives me immense pleasure in being crooked (physically)”. To couple up worries everyone suddenly seems all bustled up in daily chores that a neat dossier of chat is hard to come by. Yeah I am left to enjoy my vigil of loneliness!!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

BEND IT LIKE ME!!!!!

The tackle, the roll over, the twisted finger and the day seemed to stop. Rushed forth was I to the doctor, the pain reaching unbearable limits. Alas! Some hopes are best hope hopen. I tottered to my feet, trying to mask up a cheery benignity but to see a queue of ‘patient-friends’ called for appalling empathy. To top it all the ‘doctor-saab’ was busy with someone else (non-patients). I concluded I can be the master of all situations, until I feel helpless at the hands of the irony. Then with the silhouette of a hound he pounced upon the injured finger. Perhaps I was too casual in thinking that I commanded tender caressing; but hounds can only be blood hounds. Bearing the initial damage I was left at the hands of a merciless assistant. Led me to the X ray room and asked me to lie down on a stretcher hardly 4 feet long. As if this didn’t go down as irksome, he too let his medical hand do some checking. If it weren’t for the friends by the side I had every suspicion of my foot being demolished instead of getting polished!!!! At least the timelyPJs of theirs were keeping date with history and a respite from the brutal all side attack.

Round one confirmed I had dislocated my finger and it needed to be straightened up. Dislocated seems to be a very qualitative term. Curving of finger by right angles might sound more quantitative. The doc in pretence of getting my attention got on and awn with his gibberish without any effect. Then some sarcastic comment relating DAIICT and NIFT attracted some chuckles. I then realised some people are better off being strung up by thumbs. To add to the all the crap, he banded (at least tried to link) my moaning in pain with the loss of Indian cricket team in world cup!!!!!

Round three saw me again cuddled up (read lying) in the stretcher, and vacuous light emitting machine pin pointing the various angles of the my cursed fingers. As if solacing the wounded soldier I got another x ray and this time without a slight glitch. God Bless!!

Well I staggered to my feet thinking it’s done for good when he sentenced me to thoughts claiming me to visit him after a week. God Bless me!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

PARADOX!!!!

After a lot of dilly-dallying the mind reconciled to the fact that the efforts did not deserve enough. Clarion call for New Year resolutions stems up from the veins and the eyes portray the burning desire to catapult back to normalcy. The dry leaf of hope this time around is buoyed by reason of mind. Marks had never been the litmus test for talent- I was a staunch disciple of the above statement. But when things go wrong when they are least expected to be more often than not, one really is bent to hope against hope. May be what I have been following was a utopia. Alas! Not all lovers live to romance in utopia.

Like the ripples in a pond the mind waves brought the leaf (reason) to the shore. If not the indicator it is probably the outlet to channel all the positive outbursts. Exams are perhaps the system to regulate sporadic nature to regular jinx. But then is it worth it??? Once in a blue moon cliché loses charm and life becomes the same old drab and mundane. Basically I am being a bundle of contradictions right now. After all sifting an equation to my favour is what I am trying when exams knock at the door a week away. This paradox may beat the Bertrand’s Paradox after all. Easy it may seem, but difficult to solve…Guys help!!!!!

TRIBUTE!!!!

A collective sort of amnesia grips the whole of mankind together when a few colossi take field to redraw the lines of imagination. To an aesthete the milestones left as prints seem insignificant when compared to the ageless beauty, breathtaking conception and dazzling lyricism of art. These are far too few rare moments when sports relegate over the earthly pastures to the celestial realm. When these sportsmen decide to call it a day the whole of mankind is united in celebration of their achievements but tears are bound to flow uncontrolled.

The past year had seen many giants of their respective sports hanging their boots in the twilight of their career. Michael Schumacher,Martina Navaritilova, Andre Aggasi, Shane Warne, Zinedine Zidane, Glen Mcgrath would virtually flat the globe and mesmerise every spectator with the baffling range of geniuses and perfection. Like aging culture restorer, all of the aforementioned players revitalized the game with the inputs of their own and breathed life in the seemingly monotonous walk. Not that their skills are too alien to us but every time they conjured magic we were left spell bound with the timing of the magic wand.

A very few modern sportsmen may have found as much inspiration in the face of adversity, as much light when surrounded by darkness, as has Shane Warne. The man had seemingly inexhaustible source to surprise and belie his critics (if there were any). The only bowler in Wisden's Top Five cricketers of the 20th century speaks volumes. Bowling with pin point precision from the back of the hand was perhaps a lost art had it not been for Warne. Mental toughness, superlative skills and one pointed drive drove him past the lesser mortals to the pedestal of great. The “Gatting Ball” will be treasured and adored world wide till someone of Warne’s calibre doesn’t come by and stretch imagination. Despite being a ‘bit of lad’ he perennially took the centre stage in field for 13 long and demanding years. His geniuses were summoned for the semi finales and the finals where he wrecked havoc to the South Africans and Pakistanis. Yet there he left smiling and cunning at the same time.

Schumacher! These days when another Michael (Scofield) is taking to the heart of people this Mike is quietly enjoying his personal drive. But it hasn’t been long when the chequered flags awaited the whistle of his engine. The improbable vision of a cut through, the mental toughness of steel he had in him all the abilities to rise the world. As to prove Sherlock right, (the hereditary genes are more pronounced in elder sibling than in younger) he just took the bastion and kept moving without the fear of looking back as to who is following or not. Such has been his predominance. The world has certainly seen the best driver over the years to have adorned the tracks.

Martina and Aggasi!!! Like undying spirit these extra ordinary sportsmen kept reminding age can’t precede the love. They kept coming and bewilder us. Simple reason being the things we expect from the game played by youngsters is gracefully warded off by them with a tick of never say die attitude. At the twilight of career one can hardly put their money on them to chase each ball down. But these were people above average, even above good. They carved a niche for themselves in the heart of fans and the tennis court.

The stories of extra ordinary battle on field of these two protagonists will long be etched in memory.

Zinedine Zidane!! Head butt?? Is that what he will be remembered for??? May be I am hearing some emphatic no’s already. If someone’s game is termed parallel to the poets imagery it would be a sheer insult if he goes down in the annals of history as a tempestuous guy. With a ballerina’s shift the ruses of Zizou along with the cleverly chipped pass and duck of shimmy will go down as one of the best things to have happened to world football the last decade. His presence was not all about individualistic, he commanded respect and inspired players to shed indifferent form and come up with best. The law-breaking, convention-shattering instinct in superstars such as Zidane makes us admire his guile even at the sub conscious level.

Glen Mcgrath!! Perhaps a word has been coined to mean same as much as pin point accuracy. Talent!! Even talent as special as that possessed by Mcgrath — is a rather fragile thing. Hard work, Overs come and go by but the ball finds no other place to land on except where directed by ‘the PIGEON’.Yet, there he is, atop Mount Mcgrath, breathing in the rarefied air as if born to do it, and looking good to scale another big summit. As democratic as sport is at one level, at another it gloriously magnifies inequality. Just compare Mcgrath -clean, disciplined, hard working with the wayward, impetuous pace bowlers of his era…Well, forget it, there is no comparison.

Monday, December 25, 2006

WEEK IN GALLEY

A week in Galley!!! That may sound as an exotic place to be holidaying into. As kismet would have it galley translates to kitchen. Well the week past saw me in kitchen rummaging through all possible nooks in my tryst with date. Now that Mom’s back from a bout I feel life had always not been prosaic. Reflecting back on the new assignment as Chef I guess life is not fair on everyone.

Day one saw me rolling into kitchen after a long lapse and head in jitters. The matter that I had become completely alien to the set up of the dabbas did not make choices easier either. Cruising on safe mode I decided to go on with ‘Khichdi’. Well the choice made began the Herculean task of being sure as to what box contained what. The awful grudging of boxes along with the whistle of cooker signalled the conclusion of noon. Though to my dismay found that the curry needed a tinge more of salt. Pooris in night made up for the eventful day. Well the beginning seemed all auspicious, but as days waned the work seemed to tax a lot. Realising that Mom’s carrying over this work over and out for so many days without loss of precision (McGrath will find himself rated less on this account of precision) made for a thoughtful pondering. Well the week saw me trying my hand at almost all the things some not so well and some decent.

Well the point I wanted to raise is we all have been taxing in our own little way. The work seemingly so easy to unfold gets monotonous after few days and to be drawn into it for days together needs real patience. I do feel blessed to be gorging on things made with such intricate details without twirling my head a bit. Is this not enough to make Moms the best thing to have happened to anyone’s life???

JUICE WAS WORTH THE SQUEEZE!!!!!!

Sense of humour!! ‘A gripping pack of people who make light of a seemingly monotonous and flat tone’- is a telling commentary in taking delight in the mirthful. The other day when Mr Bush (Senior) joked about his son to the Prime Minister, I could not help myself from a quiet smile. The musings are not quite unwarranted. The company I find myself in never finds itself short on cheerfulness and the happy countenance masks the unmistakable differences. Every matter has an anti matter up and over in some other part of the universe and their chancing upon guarantees explosion, I perhaps can reconcile to the fact after being to DAIICT. Take a stroll through C wing, 1st floor and let me hear the echo.

It’s like an oasis of hope in the midst of desert of worldly woes and difficulties. Glass is never half empty it is always half full and meeting these people I couldn’t agree more. Its not like hilarious stuff for everyone, invariably someone bears the wrath. If someone claimed “My love is redder than Rose” it’s not highly unlikely that you find an arrow shot across phrased as “Mine is plastic rose eluding the worldly fusty musty rusty conditions”. Puncturing vanity and restoring sanity with aplomb is what these people are born with. Even the ordeals are worth the squeeze.

As this has been meant to be a memorabilia let me commemorate the protagonists of the plot. Central characters are portrayed by Professor and Pakoda. It gets tardy difficult to name a single person in main role. Let’s focus the reel to Pakoda, if you ever doubt the dictum that there’s a calm before the storm be sure to meet this guy. Just a single one liner suffices to cut anyone into shreds. Professor- blind follower of ‘Divide and Rule’ (When he is on mood) else if he is on song then hardly time can stand a testimony as it tickles by without a clue. Now the turn of Bouncer Bhai and John g. Even with the memento-mori hanging from his chin he will be exclaiming Abhi tho bahut time hai. John g! Perhaps no one can soak more, born with jocular vein he becomes the butt of most of the jokes. Not to forget the tag load of names he carries with him. Chubbi and Gol wind up the team with the inclusion of non regular Gulu. Chubbi to his credit finds a lethal weapon in form of his roommate, even though that doesn’t make him quite a PJ master. Gol will always be remembered for his encounters with Pakoda. The powder fight, the bottle crush will long be etched in memory. Gulu Ghalib the included non insider makes up for one of the best things to have happened to me. Well to think of it THE JUICE WAS REALLY WORTH THE SQUEEZE!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Etched Memories!!!!!!

In this light of darkness we roam in the silence sound of heart beats lamenting our lot. The loneliness is still lingering, but its getting difficult tune to dance to. Is that not the question many of us asked ourselves at some point in time??? Nobody chose seclusion for vanity. In this modern march we meekly gave in to the society pressure. So guarded we have become that chancing upon friends induces a mono syllable. Like ships that pass in night and speak each other in crank signals we passed each other. Only a look and a voice and then the darkness and silence eclipsed. Are we so busy?? Busy even to entertain even our own thoughts!!! Or spying eyes or prying ears reduced the human content in us???I mean if it chances and fates our way to be together for few days we crib to find that he’s probably the kind of guy I wished to be friends with. All ends up well. If we are not destined to interact who is to blame for neither of us took the chance???

As it happened and perhaps a welcome chance I found myself on a rural internship with relatively strange guys. As time tickled we learnt to play cards together, laugh together and while time together. Decoded each others signals, learnt to lend shoulders in need. As if many fast travelling stars collided at the end of the universe to raise a new earth, the place of friends, and the place to lead life in. Can’t assure for sure what impact it had on me but it etched in memory. The pictures in the window of life will vividly flash around from time to time reminding of the happier pastures and the time bygone. Somewhere down in the feelings heart pitter pats as to what would have the days if this was fated otherwise. Are we to blame or the fate if it was otherwise??? Does the end result not warrants a chance???

Saturday, September 16, 2006

MAHABHARATA : AN UNPREJUDICED VIEW....

Mahabharata! The epic. The hymns scream out the angelic morals. But somehow, somewhere deep in the unconscious mind we have an apprehension about the Pandavas being the so called saviours and crusaders of goodliness. Ever wondered why Kauravas were left at the receiving end all these centuries? One finds himself at bay choosing upon the just side on an impartial and unprejudiced read. It has always been the Pandavas who have been heaped praises for their valour and righteousness. But beneath lays some serious misgivings which points to foul play and injustice being stamped for years. It rather sounds paradoxically absurd trying to shift an age old maxim in favour of Suyodhana. For those surprised brows, Suyodhana was the eldest son of Dhrutrastra, the hereditary king. “Suyodhana”:- A warrior par excellence; a protector of rightful war practices. A man denied of his title for centuries which was so dear to him that he lost his life safeguarding it. Ever conjectured why he had to bear the brunt of Pandavas wrath? Surely answer comes in a gasp “The evils deserve hell”. RECONSIDER. With the type of upbringing we have, our mind and heart always laments the Kauravas. But let’s take a stock of the situation and give them their due respectfully. To begin with Dhrutrastra was the legitimate heir to the throne. But as luck would have it, being blind, the state was turned over to Pandu. Now the question arises “Who legally inherits the throne?” Though a tough nut to crack, the benefit of the doubt should have been ruled in Kauravas favour. Even otherwise, it would have taken little for the Pandavas to appreciate the folly of the situation. They choose to brag instead. Now let’s move the frame to Draupadi’s “swayambara”. Many may recollect that it was Karna who should have the first legitimate shot at the fish. But he was booed out for not being a Kshatriya. No prizes for guessing the invisible hand behind this act. It was a well established fact by then that Karna could defeat Arjun offhandedly. Well its worth mentioning that Karna was proclaimed to be the king of Angh Pradesh by Suyodhana. That’s what Suyodhana was for you. And what did Pandavas do on the eve of their brother’s marriage? Divide her for all of them! Well someone forgot that they were preachers. Scene: Hastinapur. All were invited for the showcase the Pandavas put in for their palace. Shakuni and Suyodhana both were ridiculed off for humane errors. Guess who joined in the act. Draupadi and her peers almost went to the point of stripping their humility. For a Kshatriya, to gulp down his own insult takes some beating. It all culminated in the game of PASHA. Many say it was unfair that Shakuni played the game. But nobody ever tried to stop him. He never played his hand hiding. Now, Yudhistira was asked to play, not to bet all. Alas! It was rather too simple a way out from troubles. It was left to Yudhistira to play his hand and like a sober man he should have kept a sight at his limits. Yet this great man put his wife Draupadi on line. Surely, this was the height of everything else what could possibly be thought off. Let’s roll the reel to the battlefield. Whether be it Pitamah Bheesma or Dronacharya, both were asked to play a biased hand. Ultimately they bowed out failing to play a one sided affair. So was this the so called bravery and valour of the Pandavas? Memories of Eklavya resurface without saying, who sacrificed himself for Arjun. The pitfalls of foul play bubbled throughout the war. Karna was made to donate his armour; even then it required Arjun to take aim at a weaponless man. If this was the strategy, it compelled them even lower to kill Jayadratha. Spiteful act! As if banging the last nail in the coffin, Bhima himself took aim at Suyodhana’s leg whilst in a match of clubs. Suyodhana accepted the match but never indulged in foul play fully conversant with the fact that Bhima had the cutting edge over him in a battle of clubs. Thus, he died leaving behind the true fighting spirit he had. What was he rewarded with? Duryodhana? Though lost, Suyodhana never lamented his lot. He saw himself being called Duryodhana whilst seeing Pitamah Bheesma, Dronacharya, Karna die. Thus, lain is a Mahabharata from Suyodhana’s eyes. Maybe what he deserves is an impartial, unbiased and unprejudiced read. Let us give him his due.

FRIEND.......

In bustling race of time we often rejoices in solitudes the scales and down rides of the time spent in the company of friends. More often than not tears roll out rather than smiles wrinkling. Dedicated to one of those one off moments.



Dripping down my helpless face,
Those million drops of heart ways,
Singing a poignant song that claims,

“Oh! My peer show me your face”
That lights the world with infinite grace.
And as they splash onto the ground,
They cry with grief profound.

‘Oh Friend! You still remain unfound’
The sobs continue to trickle down my cheek
Making me feel lost and meek
As millions of me continue to die
Prepared to mislay without a din,
Mayst a tear pray for win.