Sunday, March 16, 2008

When he was ALONE.....

He stood gaping at his shadow,
In weird thoughts and distant memories,
By cold snaps piercing the quietness,
Besides himself, he wailed her name,
Brusquely it came and stumbled he, in tame.

When tormenting thoughts encircled,
Swayed he in dreams, disturbed.
All he conjured,
The dimpled beam on the face,
And the little curl besides the ear।

The casting lamp forlorn,
He walked loud with anklets worn.
Reaching her breath on his skin,
And her impelling hair on his fingers, akin.
Peered he with eyes wide shut.

He traced her smile from faking memory,
Feeling through the soft length of her body.
He waits the evening of split wine.
Imprinting illusions of reality.
The lovers dream they had seen!

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Train She Never Took

It all started with the innocuous of scraps. Hail Orkut! Your stumbling upon anyone from remote past is nothing short of miraculous. Series of scraps, fervent replies, the feeling of childhood rejuvenating – The circle spun on. Unlike most things, the fervour didn’t die. The little complaints, held for long needed answers. All in all the cement, the mortar for the next wall was totally bridged. Scraps to instant messages the transition was virtually unnoticed.

As it seemed, there could be no end to talks, came the lull. The period of no scraps, no gtalk pings! Exams! Like all bad things, it had a good side. It wouldn’t be insanely Herculean to gather a force to loathe exams. Just the degree varied with persons as did the language. The end of exams marked the lengthier nights to be filled with so called acts. Coincidentally, both he and she began to talk beyond the past into present. Life of speculations, life of relationships!

The online chatting really does pioneer in getting hideous scandals revealed. For reasons difficult to fathom, it’s always easier grieving over chat or a phone than in face. The case in point was no different. It looks even more ridiculously childish; when rather than drawing nodding sympathy he gets mocking lols (grins). Soon enough the minutes of past and present gets done with. Yet, the diminished eagerness lingered. Gtalk seemed passé! Messages and calls! So much so that the usual decency of leaving out of rooms in search of alone space was lost on the frequency of calls. The attractions seemed aplenty, but reality lay somewhere far off.

Things lead to one another and the whole world conspired with the fate
They were to meet! How absurd did it sound? For each knew the other with flummoxing familiarity credited to close friends. They were to see the other growing out of digital snaps for the first time. It was she who rang up, and fixed the place. He was quite unsure of the place, and loitered around to find the smiling face. The so called mandatory hand-shakes backwashed into a period of nerve wrecking silence! No words, even to the point of stammering!Time eased them through the initial hiccups. Maybe to reduce the state of animated silence, they decided to move out to a quieter junction, perhaps to a food station!

So did they march along with the nonchalant questions of present well being and so on The food did wonders; nothing else could have otherwise explained the radical visible changes. Then it happened! The first touch! She took his arm and gave a peg and he didn’t mind it a bit. When the caressing did melt the hours, was beyond comprehension on after thought. But it did. Everything sounded better from her. She too listened with passion, the things she hardly entertained in chats. Such was the silent intensity!

Seldom has there been anything good about good bye except for debunking the latent emotions The auto drive back forth surfaced the sentimental issues. He was quiet, she was rapt. Silence was to witness the trying hard to hold tears and the patting re-assurance. The whole gamut, ran through months of chat ran in single vivid flame. It felt miraculous to be in each others company aloof from reality. He saw her loosing reins, loosing herself in belief. He would wait.He promised he would wait for her train.

P.S. When people around you start spinning stories, the cult is rather far too challenging not to catch up.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Eerie Haunts!!

Its time, in fact a lot of time, too much of waters have passed under the bridge! I finally decide to rest my resolution aside for meanwhile and come up with something for the blog। Some grey cells turned BLACK (dead), few blood cells enflamed (AGNEE) and rest of the cells, memory ones seems to have ceased multiplying.

Confusing? For those who credited me with normal average memory power this post might make some sense. For others, check out the writings of OSHO :P. The other day, D day (Re-Kriti Finals), to my utter surprise I was clueless to what might my blog address be! Not even my assumed pen name! I was left to the state of stammered silent cursing.

This by no means is the beginning of the indication. During one off the walks to SARDAR, I found myself coming in different angles in tryst to come up with the word auction”.It was not the one off words. “Exploit” as a word had to be explained as “Shoshan”. The interesting arguments in leading to my re-realisation of the word, notwithstanding, I see me loosing my reins.

So flooded was I with the chunk of memories garbaged over 21 years, that it reiterated upon myself in forms. It culminated in a series of reflections! The life without memory?Inking your body with words as memento? Letting your brain process a little longer in order to whet back pleasant days? Yuck, have I been sounding too pessimistic?

Unbelievingly enough I get across this telegraph article as if to remind me “ पिक्चर अभी बाकी है दोस्तों”। The guy in case, keeps coming back and loves the same thing over and over again. Proposing his wife all over again and again and again! Did he not freeze time at its most elusive point? The idea of diminishing returns would still be a no-no place. Without memory we would just be hapless at the scenarios around us. But that does not restrict us from attaching value to things, reacting to stimuli by automatic instinct.

Yet, we reinforce the taxed brain for memory. Important dates! Yet we fall on the implications. How much are we aware of at each moment is rather limited. We assimilate and force opinions on prior experience and present conscience. The instincts, first impression lose its way to time. No wonder the world needs few million billions of TB!