For the uninitiated, I am in my last year of undergraduate studies (Of course until unless my college people decide otherwise). The rate with which I let myself to be tamed by time is rather obnoxious. The comparisons are nauseous. The equivalences between a-then-me and a-now-me are non existent. I could never recollect a day when I went to exams unprepared।Alas! It was a story which existed only in then time frames! I hardly remember the last time I took to serious preparations! My exams came and went with a jiffy. But did I wonder for a second as to what it meant to be so oblivious? The care free me forgetting to bring in the calculators for the exams and not even letting it affect me in the aftermath does speak volumes of my negligence, doesn’t it? For the other exam I didn’t give a damn just because the others weren’t looking too committed either. So I can be pardoned for that sin! But the day next when I had one off the important papers- What did I do for preparations? Play the whole evening. Started reading at 10- Stopped by 10.45 and slept till the exam. So much so that it didn’t affect me like anything. An ant crawled over a goofy fur? Enough room for my carefree no-matter-what attitude? I leave space to tumble myself in the ignominy of my former self. But then do I matter? Even in the former outfit? Just for the record Am I giving in too easily or do these things don't deserve the look? I Am just curious! Are all the bricks in the wall same or is mine different?
So much so for the time of my life!
The people I would like to be around at present, doing the things I miss doing are sitting elsewhere in some other part of the world. Now all I yearn for is a neat dossier of chat which at some point was much more than life capsules. I am learning to live with it. I am learning to be aimless. I am learning to be the crowd in crowding sphere! May be perhaps it is a juncture in time? A fork still struck on the road? I am being cast in outcast role. My sentences are silent and my eagerness slimed. Do I need to cut through? To fight for all that could be mine? The juice really worth the squeeze? Is moral fibers not mean clinging to what you like? I am still passive. Maybe I want this spell to get over. But I am struck with a jinx. I don’t know how to distinguish when nothing ends and something begins? Help me guys!